It's amazing...

how much the people you've met online can influence your life. It's also amazing how much you can click with someone you've only seen irl one time. How they can know things about you that no one else does. How they can share similar thoughts and feelings. It's just amazing.

I'm tired in every way you can be tired. Drained and I don't have enough reserves for anything else. When and if the other shoe drops whomever is in my line of sight is in for it. Seriously. Hopefully something can be done about this relatively soon. Hopefully. I'm not counting on it though b/c sometimes people are flaky.

I called and asked for my Rebif back. I have to start over again with the titration pack but that's fine by me. I have to get a gyn referral and see what kind of bc they'll let me have. Hopefully a tubal. That would be ideal. Actually a hysterectomy would be ideal but I doubt they'd do that for me. Fuckers. Yes I just said that.

I have 30 more days of Copaxone

then that's it. I think I insult the Shared Soultions peple every time they call to check on my progress with it. NOthing has changed. I blow their theories out of the water. Unfortunately for them they have to report everything to the pharma company. Hey, not everyone likes their med. I'm not going to fricking lie.

Where have I been all my life.

Right here. Waiting.

I have on bottom earrings...

b/c we're going to a wedding this weekend. How pathetic is this...they HURT. I haven't worn bottom earrings in a long long time. So long that I can't find all the ones I normally wear b/c when I unpacked the jewelry box I put it someplace stupid. So long that I have an eraser on the back of one of them. Oh well, it'll get better.

Sitting here waiting to go to music class, then Red's appt then we'll head out of town. It should be a decent trip even though I don't feel like sitting in the car. I get to go to Hobby Lobby and eat wedding cake. Two very good things.

We never installed the porch light "Icomeonwhenitgetsdark" thing. OH well, it'll be obvious we're gone. Good thing our neighbors are hella nosy.

I've been doing some reading

and decided that when the time comes I'm going back on rebif. I'll deal with all the things it does to me b/c they were all better than what copaxone does and it's a more aggressive med. I need to feel like I'm attacking this damn disease. It decided to try to attack me, well hell I can do that right back.

That's my middle of the night, can't sleep although I'm tired wisdom. I'm also going to work out regularly again no matter how I'm feeling and take the provigil from the doctor. I can't feel like this any longer. I can't let everything pile up on my all at once and not fight it off. That's pathetic.

In a few weeks I'll know exactly how my year will go. I hear the jeopardy theme in my head. Can you hear it?

Meredith's room...

so far. I still need to cut out the shape for her headboard and upholster it and move the train table back downstairs, and put some kind of quote on the wall with the cricut vinyl. It'll happen.

Oh and the dollhouse is a nightlight. I put it up high b/c she like to make tetebell and some penguins play in it. It's not meant for that.

Happy New Year

It's 2009. Let's see what 2009 brings. Hopefully good stuff for everyone I know. And for me too. :)