today was big slidey hole day...

perverts it was MRI day. They have a new bigger magnet MRI at the joint. I got to test it out. Now they strap me down from the chest up. Surprisingly I had no issue with being stuck like that. I couldn't even tell how long I was there.

The bad thing about the day? They used my left arm and apparently had a difficult time getting a line in for the contrast only I didn't feel ANY of it. Yeah I used to have feeling on the left side.

June 4th, you know all speedy like, I get to go to the neuro so he can tell me the results.

I have a few things to say to him as well. I'm done with these meds. Done. I'm tired of tasting medication. I'm tired of feeling like shit. I didn't used to drag and have to take meds to stay awake and meds to sleep and meds to calm down. I never had problems with my thyroid or stomach or other parts of my endocrine system. If this shit is supposed to be protecting my brain then why isn't it? I won't sacrifice the rest of my body for nothing.

If you have time read this. PRISMS Tell me if I'm seeing something wrong. Tell me what you think I shoudl be seeing after more than 2 years on rebif. B/c I'm not seeing what I think I should be.

I think mostly I'm angry. Angry and tired and fed up. I don't like this. At all.

This is Meredith's birthday month...

she's going to be 4. FOUR. She's a big girl. She says she's going to wean, take showers and drive a car. It's going to be a big month for her and us too huh?

Zoe has started an MS group at her office. I really like talking to the ladies. I find it to be very helpful.

A lot of my meds have been changed. My depression has gotten much worse. Bad enough where I'm not typing what happened here. Either way, I'm working thru that and a whole host of new health issues.

I'm tired. Like worn down. But my friends and my little family will help me get back to myself. Whomever that is. It's been so long. I'm not sure I'd know her if I ever even ran into her on the street.

I'd like to get off rebif but that's up in the air. Hell, I'd like to get off everything except the neurontin. I like walking without tripping see. Weird huh. Oh well

SO that's all I have thwe heart to type. Oh that last post, that's my new favorite song.

Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine